Overcoming My Food Addiction

It all started when I was 8 years old. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter eating an apple, when my mom walked in and said “If you don’t stop eating all the time you’re going to keep getting fatter and fatter.” As I got older I’d hear things like “You’d be so beautiful if you lost a few pounds” and “You might have more boys asking you out on dates if you slimmed down”. Over the years and until last year actually, comments like that (from her and other people) started a huge chain reaction that made me want to find comfort in food and sneak unhealthy foods ALL. THE. TIME. While other tweens were spending their babysitting money on clothes and Dickies purses (who else remembers those?), I was buying boxes of Kraft mac & cheese and candy. And in case you’re wondering, my parents were the “weird ones” who ate super clean before it became popular, so there weren’t candy drawers, any cereals with refined sugar, white bread or junk food in the house. Except for very occasional caffeine-free soda or Breyers ice cream.

I realize some of you are going to be shocked (or even feel frustrated) about my experience, who calls their own kid fat, right? But this post isn’t meant to be a mom bash, I love her very much and we’ve moved past a lot of those issues. My point is this, those experiences happened over and over (with more people than just my mom, my dad, siblings, kids at school, cough cough an ex-boyfriend) and it conditioned me to believe things like A. I wasn’t good at what I ate and it was going to result in my being over weight. And B. That my body wasn’t acceptable. It morphed into a horrible view of my body, I’m talking about MAJOR insecurities, a constant unhappiness with my body (no matter my weight) and a very unhealthy relationship with food. I’m sure in the moment my blunt Brazilian mother had good intentions, but instead of loving me and teaching me why she chose to eat healthy, how good it made her feel, etc. I was made to feel bad about food and it caused a huge wedge between us.

As I grew up, I was on the heavier side, always about 25-35 pounds over a healthy weight range. If I was happy I’d eat to celebrate, if I was sad, I’d eat to find comfort. I’m talking about eating an entire pizza and a couple pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (Cookie Dough and Peanut Butter Cup were my favorites) in one sitting. When I moved out of the house for college I started living on my own and eating whatever I wanted, without anyone telling me I couldn’t or shouldn’t. It didn’t take long to start jumping on the crash diet fads with roommates, and girls from my beauty school (don’t worry, I’ve tried them all).

I would drink Slim-fast, eat low carb, do juice fasts, eat paleo, etc. (you name it I’ve done it) and lose 20-30 pounds fairly quickly. When I’d go to a party, out to dinner or whenever there were unhealthy foods in front of me (pretty much the entire time I was dieting), I would feel so unhappy because I was “missing out” on the yummy junk food. After doing a diet for a couple months, I would feel so done and want to start eating all of those yummy tasting foods that I had been “depriving” myself of again. I didn’t want to look at another piece of broccoli or grilled chicken breast, or gag down another glass of beet juice, (and yes, it was nasty). So of course, I would go right back to my old eating habits and gain the weight all back (and usually 5-10 lbs more). This very unhealthy cycle was so familiar to me, I didn’t realize that I could ever maintain weight-loss as part of my daily lifestyle. I believed that being heavier was just how my body was supposed to be. As a result I’d fluctuate 25-45 pounds well into my 20s, never feeling good in my own skin and always wishing I was smaller.

Fast forward, I started boxing last year and putting good foods into my body and had lost 50 lbs on my own. Four weeks ago I hit a plateau on the scale and hadn’t lost anything for two months. Struggling to understand why my body had stopped performing, I decided to seek help. I met with Rob and Kelli from Legends Boxing  because they have mentored others at the gym and had a really good program with meal plans and accountability. They sat me down and told me that I could do it (they believed in me before I had even started with them, which meant so much. And when I’m scared, sometimes I almost always run on borrowed faith) and my goals were a matter of my daily choices, cause and effect. If I did what they told me, I would have success. First they had me make an appointment to have my hormones tested (which explained why I was struggling to lose weight), then they told me I would need to eat the right amount of clean calories for my body, workout hard and get enough sleep at night. And, I would also have to send a daily log of all the foods I ate every night for accountability. One of the hardest concepts for a former crash-dieter like myself, was realizing that this is how it is going to be. Everyday I’ll workout, everyday I’ll eat healthy, every night I’ll get enough sleep, plain and simple. The familiar diet “end date” would no longer exist, but I completely trusted them so I did what they told me.

So, I’m sure you’re dying to know the results from the past four weeks…I’m so happy to report that I’m down 12 pounds since first meeting with them four weeks ago! I can see a HUGE difference in my body with inch loss and have also dropped another pant size. And if you are struggling and can’t do it on your own, grab a coach from Legends Boxing to mentor you.

I may be confident in certain talents, skills and abilities that I have, but for the first time in my life, I feel confident in my body right now, I am stronger than ever and I know that I am in control of this and I can do it. A big reason I’m able to do that is because two amazing people have taken me in and have my back and aren’t going to take my excuses when the going gets tough. When I eat pizza, I get called out on it, when I was sick and struggling to eat enough calories I was also called out. This is why having a mentor is SO IMPORTANT, they can support you, give you accountability and teach you things you didn’t know how to (or believed you could) do on your own. I know I’m still in the baby stages, but they are the first people to really teach me how to have a healthy relationship with all foods and to find balance in eating right and enjoying it too. I can feel how much they genuinely care about me as a person, not just a client and want to see me succeed. In the past food was a comfort, now food is fuel. “Fuel your  motivation, not your excuses. Fuel your confidence, not your insecurities. Fuel your beliefs, not your fears.”

Here’s what a twelve pound difference looks like:

 Are you stuck, plateaued or unmotivated? Want to come workout with me! Contact Legends Boxing if you want to set up a trial workout or meal plan consultation: 80 North 850 East, Lehi, UT 84043 | 801.768.4000